Friday 3 March 2017

Get Inspired: Week 9

First seen on the Space Trash Blog.

Dreaming of reality (Get Inspired, week 9)


It's cute how people try to break everything down into manageable chunks. It's like watching a five-year-old doing a jigsaw, and turning that last piece of sky around five times to get it to fit in a four-sided hole.

I especially love listening to them on the science of dreaming. 'Dreaming is a mental filing system.' 'They're metaphors for your repressed sexuality.' 'Did you know that every face you see in a dream is the face of someone you've seen, at some point in your life?' Actually, by sheer dumb luck, that last might be the one point they aren't wrong about.

I suppose everyone has to get lucky sometime...there's a thought I'd've lived happily without.

Anyway, thank the Consciousness, dreaming isn't a mental filing system, so I won't have to face the images that calls up some night.

Dreaming is what the conscious mind remembers when you travel between realities. There you go. The big secret, Guide for Dummies style.

Because the human mind is basically an thin skim of intelligence (very, very, very thin in most cases) wrapped around a consciousness that started out remarkably recently as a kind of slime with ambitions (you've heard this story, yes?) - essentially, it can't contain and process what it experiences.

When you fall asleep, you travel between realities. It happens to everyone. Your only solution is never to sleep again, and we know what the experts say about that.

Ever had to deal with people who can't remember to how to tie their shoes or that they had an appointment scheduled? Chances are good those people are falling through this reality, have no idea why they're here or what they're supposed to be doing, and consequently aren't coping well. (Don't worry, they'll wake up - with some odd memories about odder dreams.)

On the flip side, if you're one of those people who has dreams like immersive films, complete with sound, smell and every other sensation, and you can actually remember them once you wake up...well, you're wasting your life at whatever you think you're doing. Give me a call, we'll do dinner. If you're one of those rarities, you have the ability to travel realities intentionally.

Seriously, give me a call. We need you.

This one turned up because I talk to so many people who can't remember dreaming, or dream in black and white (I remain impressed that you can do that, when you see in colour), or whatever. Maybe it's a side-effect of writing too much (not actually sure that's possible), but dreams are hella fun if you're me. Knife fights on the back of old-style steam trains, tigers in storm drains, fighting giant robots, and storming alien factories are just some of the awesome shit that happens when I go to sleep.

Since the usual explanations bore me, I figured I should come up with a better one.

Wednesday 1 March 2017

Get Inspired: Week 8

First seen on the Space Trash Blog.
 
Invocation error (Get Inspired, week 8)

Error: you have cast an undefined invocation.

"Told you the pentagram was too wiggly," Toluk muttered. I glared in his general direction. The damned neon error message that had engraved itself on my retinas meant that I didn't have a precise directional lock, but I did my best to sight back along that self-righteous comment.

"You were the ass who said clockwise, schmockwise."

Frankly, anytime I actually need the blood of a real virgin for something, Toluk's the one I'm going to use. With that attitude, no way he gets laid. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure I'd have queues of volunteers to hold him down.

Anyway, the decidedly icky topic of Toluk's virginity aside, I wasn't any closer to Frogs in the Bogs. The way this invocation was going, I might just about manage to give someone with a particularly bad case of diarrhea a mild French accent for half an hour.

Whichever idiot said magic was a shortcut should try powdering bulrushes; I swear I laminated my sinuses with them after the first few minutes.

Oddly enough, this one was inspired by work.:)

Yeah, no, my work isn't that interesting, but like pretty much every other company we have a team who looks after our computers. They call it upgrades, I call it bi-monthly opportunity to find out about error messages that I didn't know existed. Including: 'You have cast an invocation in error. Please contact your administrator."