Iceland vacation - this rolling stone gathers moss

First seen on the Space Trash Blog.

Iceland, 2016

For anyone who's been wondering why my social media feeds went unfed and my websites were

empty to the whistling winds of time recently ...well, I was in Iceland, caving in lava tubes, watching the Northern Lights, and riding Icelandic horses. and then falling face down into bed each evening, because like many authors, I'm a generally sedentary specimen.

If you haven't been to Iceland yet, go. It's unique, the scenery is stark and breath-taking, and Icelanders have mastered the art of enjoying the outdoors. Might help that their outdoors is awesome.

How is Iceland unique? Well, I could be a smartarse and ask if you wanted that list alphabetically or chronologically, but I won't. After all, I have neglected everyone for a week.

First, it's a great place for authors. It's estimated that about 10% of the population has written a book. (Well, it impressed me...)

Unique fact #2: Iceland has no military. None, zero, nil. There's a US Airforce base near Reykjavik that they've been trying to politely boot off the island since about 1950, with very little luck, but Iceland itself has no military.

Unique fact #3: Iceland's prison population is somewhere around 200. There is exactly one secure prison. We were told that the last time a prisoner broke out, he got so cold and bored after a couple of days that he knocked on someone's door and they gave him some coffee while he waited for the police to pick him up.

Unique fact #4: the Icelanders found out when the Panama Papers came out that their last prime minister had been caching money overseas, so they came out and demonstrated against him in hordes - and he stepped down within the week.

I spent a week in the capital (in and around, OK), and a few things stuck out for me. There were no homeless or mentally disabled begging on the streets. None. After that, I got impressed all over again because all the Icelanders I met spoke at least one other language fluently, usually English, and quite often a third and fourth language as well. Up until then, I thought my two and a half languages were a good record. Best of all, there is basically zero sexism. Iceland is pretty much the leading country in the world when it comes to gender equality.

After a while, I started to wonder what the secret is. How come democracy seems to actually work in Iceland, whereas it's coming off the rails in the rest of the world? How come there is almost no violent crime (the Icelandic police force's Instagram restored some of my seriously jaded faith in humanity)? How come Iceland has laws concerning paying both genders alike for 'men's work' that can in some cases be traced back to the 1700s (or at least, that's on record in the Maritime Museum) - and other countries today have legislatures united against equal pay, or still believe that a faceful of acid is a merited response if a woman refuses to date someone, or that it's somehow demeaning for a man to be competent at mending his own shirts?

Seriously, is it something they put in the water, and can we set up an export agreement?

Anyway, Iceland, fellow humans. By sheer dumb luck or intelligent design, they're definitely doing it right, and even if you don't happen to suffer from my incurable need to try and figure out the why and wherefore of everything, it still makes a great vacation spot. Just stay away from the hákarl - every Icelander I spoke to for more than five minutes apologised for it. They're not sure why it's still a thing, but apparently they feel bad about it.

All photos taken by the author. There's a reason I'm an author, not a photographer.

Self-publishing 101 - eBook publishing part 1: Amazon KDP

First seen on the Space Trash Blog.

 

So, how do I do it?? 

Hello authors.

(I don't call 'em 'aspiring authors', because as far as I'm concerned if you write and you're researching self-publishing, you already are the real Slim Shady ...)

So you've got a book, a novella, an anthology or some other wonderful and unique permutation of the written word, and you've decided to go indie. Good for you. This means you skidded exuberantly through a first draft, survived the long dark tea time of the soul known as editing, discovered just how bad MS Word spellcheck can be, found beta readers, revised their feedback into your Meisterwerk, edited some more, and you're getting to the point of wondering WTF comes next.

Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing, or KDP for those of us in the biz, is the one that comes immediately to mind. After all, Amazon is well-known, they're everywhere, and best of all, they make it really easy for novice authors. I'm going to talk about this one first, because it kind of is the shit.

However, don't forget that there are other options (yes, free to use). I'm also going to talk about Smashwords, Kobo, and Google Play in the subsequent posts. These also all let you get your stuff out there, and take a very small percentage of your book price for it - no up front costs.

Disclaimer - I publish with KDP, among others.

Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP)

Bare essentials:

1. Working Internet browser.
2. Word processing software, ditto functional.
3. Your Amazon user name and password, if you have them (no worries if not, you can set this up as you go).
4. Manuscript, ideally in Word .doc / .docx. Make sure it meets the KDP formatting standards. (No, I don't think you're an idiot. This is a 101 guide.)
5. Your teaser / blurb / back cover text.
6. Book cover - for the love of all and any deities, if there's one thing you're going to splurge on, splurge on a professional cover. Seriously. Really. Don't photograph your four-year-old niece's really cute finger painting and then use MS Paint to stick a title on it. Go and find a good cover artist and get a cover that you can be proud of. Read the KDP cover guidelines.
   • I use Joshua Jadon design, because I happen to think the guy's a genius, but there are much more affordable options out there. Do your research.
7. Your bank account details, including the international codes. Probably your bank's online help will give you this, but if not, give them a call and hold out for a human with a clue.
8. Your tax details (Amazon won't pay you unless they know that you're either paying tax in the States, or where you are paying it. Go figure). If you aren't American, or lucky enough to live in a country with a tax relationship with the USA, this bit will get tedious. Fair warning.
9. A LOT of patience. Don't rush this. Don't hit 'go' before your book is set to be the best it can be.

Go and find the KDP site. Your first step will be to create your KDP account. They'll tell you how to do that in their Help section, so I won't go into it again here. You'll need that user name and password, your bank account details, and the tax details for this bit. (Oh, yeah - good luck. This is the most tedious, frustrating bit of the process.)

Once you've got your account set up with KDP, you need to click through to your Bookshelf. You'll be faced with that 'Create new title' option. (Also, seriously, go and look at their 'Getting started' tips.)
Enter your book details. Hopefully by this point, you know your title, your own name (please don't tell me if not), and you have some back blurb.

Don't automatically go with 'Enroll in Kindle Select'. The pros are that you get some promotional options, and people with Kindle Unlimited can read your stuff for free (yes, you still get paid), and this may make them more likely to take a flyer on you. The big con is...you can't publish on any other platform while you're in Kindle Select. Choose wisely.

Work your way through the options - they'll be different for each book and author.

Pick your two categories. I'd recommend one fairly generic catchall, and one category that's a little smaller, so you aren't #3,895,923 in both categories.

Spend a bit of thought on your keywords. These are the opportunity to grab the attention of a wider audience, beyond your categories. Is your work 'character driven'? Is is a genre crossover with anything? What would you type into the search bar to find your book? Also, clearly, use all seven. It's free publicity.

Now - upload your cover. Because you weren't an idiot (right?), you read the cover guidelines and/or used a professional cover designer, and it meets the file type and formatting standards. Now you get to look at it, looking all official in your set up page.

I would stop right here and spend a moment gloating. Think of it as a reward for slogging through the mire of bank account and tax set up.

Next is the big bit. Now you upload your beautiful, formatted manuscript, complete with table of contents, copyright wording, the flowery dedication to the corner pub for the inspiration, your local café for letting you write all afternoon for one cup of coffee, your Great Aunt Mae for being your beta reader, etc., etc. If you did your homework, and read the formatting instructions, and did a reasonable job on the editing (don't skip editing. First, it makes you look like a cretin, and second, Amazon is bringing in the option for people to flag your book if it reads as if you just graduated elementary school), then it should upload nicely.

Now - preview your book. Yeah, we know, you spent all that time formatting it, and getting the table of contents just right was murder. Suck it up, princess. This is actually another gloatable moment, because...there's your book, right there, looking like a real ebook. Flick through and make sure everything looks the way you thought it was going to look.

Now you get to click 'Save and continue'.

Next page sets up your royalties and pricing.

Basically, Amazon lets you set up shop on their site for free. They make their money (as do you) when you sell a book. They charge you an amount from your book price based on some alchemy around storing and transferring your book file to the reader. All the rest is yours. Not a bad deal, compared to the pittance a traditional publisher will give you when they sell a copy of your book.

Pick your book price. Oddly enough, cheaper isn't always better. (Yes, I am going to stand this up with some sources - patience, grasshopper.) For an average novel length (75K - 150k words, let's say), the recommended price point for sales versus being taken seriously tends to be about $2.99 - $3.99 USD for most genres.

Who died and made me God? Here's some articles on book pricing you can check out.

• How to price an eBook, Mill City Press
• The definitive guide to pricing your book, Wise Ink Blog
• How to set the right price for your self-published book, MediaShift

Then set up your royalties. I go for 70%, because eh, why not, but where you live, whether or not you enrolled in Kindle Select, etc., will all impact your options here. You can also decide if you'll give people who buy your print book a free ebook version (assuming you do decide to go with a print copy).

Now...hit 'Save and Publish'.

Congratulations, you're a published author!

You can add it to your resumé. Actually, I recommend adding it to your resumé. And your LinkedIn. And tell your friends. Not to mention, Tweet all about it, and make a snazzy Instagram image or Pin it on Pinterest (I like Pablo by Buffer for creating nice images for Tweeting, Pinning, etc.), or whatever your social media vices of choice are. After all, no one will know about your book unless you tell them about it.

Elemental Affinity Launch

First seen on the Space Trash Blog.

3, 2, 1 ... Yes, Elemental Affinity, the third in the Cortii series, has finally launched!!! 

For  a while there I thought I was going to be another month late, and then it all suddenly came together and stopped torturing me. Among other unexpected rescues, several secondary characters stepped up heroically, and filled in some background that added a lot to the story. (Well, don't take my word for it - go and get a copy.)

The teaser: 

The Cortii are mercenaries, for hire to anyone who can afford their services. Every government uses them; no single government can destroy them.

A newly discovered world. An opportunity for the Cortiian rebels. And a mission for Wildcat Cortia...

The Federated Planets Alliance scouts have discovered a new human civilisation; a civilisation not suited to their usual contact protocol. They want a Cortiian to test the waters, and the rebel faction has a very specific commander in mind for the mission – Ilan of Wildcat.

To Ilan, the orders are a convenient pretext. To an ancient feudal culture about to join an intergalactic civilisation, the leaping wildcat and a rider all in black are symbols long foretold - heralding cataclysmic change.

This book was interesting to write because it involved a complete contrast of cultures; on the one hand, the pre-spaceflight culture of a newly-discovered planet, complete with feudal cities, untouched wilderness, and a mystifying lack of extra-sensory abilities in the general population, (drum roll, please) and on the other Wildcat Cortia, immured in their commander's absence on Corina space station, honing their piloting and space combat abilities and indulging in typical Cortiian politics to fend off the boredom of said intensive training.

Yes, Cortiians as a species have a low boredom threshold. It makes them fun to hang out with.

Due to some very helpful feedback from my beta team, it also gave me the chance to colour in more of both sides of the story. This really was the book where, in my anxiety not to send the readership to sleep, my original draft had left out some details that were actually necessary to the story - and this was where some of those secondary characters really got to shine.

I hope you enjoy it; I'm about to disappear back into my author cave and start work on the next in series ... Elemental Conflict.

Knives, spaceships and dirty fighting - who says a mercenary cult can't be fun?

Women's Equality Day / Toilet Paper Day

So I've been grinning on and off as I alternately see posts celebrating 26th August as Toilet Paper Day and Women's Equality Day - appropriately, in that order of volume.

I'm grinning because I'm a sick person and that level of (possibly) unintentional satire appeals to my equally sick and twisted sense of humour.

I've sounded off before in my blog about having 'days' for social causes. Why? Well, because frankly it feels like a cop-out to me. Set up a 'day' for saving the turtles or whatever, and we can retweet a save the turtles post, congratulate ourselves on raising awareness, and go our merry ways without actually having to do anything material about saving a damn turtle.

26th August is Women's Equality Day and Toilet Paper Day, with toilet paper so far sweeping the stakes in 'awareness raising', at least in my feeds. On the whole, I think toilet paper is doing a whole lot better in terms of global acceptance than women's equality.

Possibly, some of the reasons for that can be explained by the etymology of the word 'woman'. It seems to have evolved from Old English, (see the Online Etymology Dictionary), sometime around the time of the Norman Conquest, c. 1066.

"adult female human," late Old English wimman, wiman (plural wimmen), literally "woman-man," alteration of wifman (plural wifmen) "woman, female servant" (8c.), a compound of wif "woman" (see wife) + man "human being" (in Old English used in reference to both sexes; see man (n.)). Compare Dutch vrouwmens "wife," literally "woman-man."

It appears to be fair to say that the evidence indicates that the view of 'woman' as a sub-species of  'man' isn't a new thing for humanity. Toilet paper, however, only has sub-species in certain public toilets; the kind that crinkles like grease-paper and tears like wrapping tissue.

So what material difference am I making to social and hygenic paper inequality? Well, I ensure I only buy the softest and most absorbent toilet paper. It adds to my personal comfort and doesn't add all that much to my budgetary discomfort.

It occurs to me that until it becomes more uncomfortable for society as a whole, not just the female parts of it, to ignore social inequality than to do something about it, social inequality will hang on. Not least because gender programming starts in the cradle, with little cutesy-poo pink or blue onesies, and carries on into adulthood with 'real gentlemen' opening doors for women who are clearly too weak to open their own doors, things that 'aren't ladylike', which include everything from covering too much skin (see the burkini debate') to not covering enough skin (see the multiple stories in rape investigations  of 'she was asking for it'), and muscles and belligerence being about the only universally-accepted 'male' attributes - which I see as damned offensive to either half of the species.

It also occurs to me that right now, a lot of women's rights movements are raising awareness - which, while it is a good thing, much better than nothing at all - still indicates that there are a lot of women waiting for men to change laws and society to women's advantage. Call me a cynic, but that just sounds a lot like wondering why the fox you left to guard the henhouse has feathers in his whiskers.

Etymology Excavation: "at full tilt"

First seen on the Space Trash Blog.

 What is etymology, and why are you excavating it?

Etymology is like the archeology of a language (definition: the study of the origin of words and the way in which their meanings have changed throughout history).

In this series of posts, we're going to look at some of the English phrases, like 'at full tilt', 'toe the line', 'when push comes to shove' that are commonly used, and have an interesting history - and that people often get wrong.

"At full tilt" means flat out, at top speed, as fast as possible. Its origins don't have anything to do with being unsteady, at an angle, or, indeed poker.

The term derives from the sport of jousting, or tilting (ever heard of 'tilting at windmills'?), and 'at full tilt' is believed to have first come into use as an expression in the mid-1600s.

Common theories (check out http://www.etymonline.com for even more good stuff) are that it comes from either the practice of leaning in to meet the attack when jousting, or, conversely, from tilt or tent, referring to the flimsy barrier that separates the two riders when they joust.

Examples of 'at full tilt':

• I ran down the hill at full tilt.
• We're going to need to work at full tilt to get this done in time.

Is it still in common use? Depends who you ask. I'm a Millennial, and I use it; my parents' generation certainly did. On the whole, it's probably more likely to be used in British English than American English.

It's one of those phrases you can use to hint at a character's background in contemporary work such as a thriller - maybe your anti-hero is British and gives himself away with it, for example.

If you're writing fantasy or sci-fi, you can also adapt it this type of expression. If (random example, honest) your invented culture includes people swinging on big metal balls hung from cranes, you'd use 'at full swing'. (Oddly enough, 'in full swing' is another weird English idiom that I probably will be covering on another day.)

Deadlines, whistling in the wind

First seen on the Space Trash Blog.

Apparently the legendary Douglas Adams enjoyed the sound of deadlines whizzing by, so I figure I'm in good company.

I proudly published a Launch date of 6th August for Elemental Affinity, and hey, lookit that, it's the 11th and no sign of Elemental Affinity.

Why? You may well ask.

Well, it goes something like this: there was once a struggling young author, who worked all day and wrote all night, and this young yet talented artist once published a Launch date in June that turned out to be totally unrealistic in August.

Or, if you prefer the haiku form:

Time flying by me

Endless edits in my sights

Sleep, that little death.

Basically, I had some very good feedback from my beta read team, and in trying to implement it, I realised a bit belatedly that I was re-writing about a third of the book. This seemed perfectly feasible in June, when I got the feedback, but less so after ten hours of editing at 8pm local on 6th August, with 20K words still to go - many of which actually still needed to be written.

I am still shooting to have Elemental Affinity out, finished, edited and beautiful before the end of August. Really, this time? Well, yeah, I hope so. Partly because I think the book is a lot better, even right now in its partially finished state, with metaphorical dustsheets everywhere, and I'm looking forwards to seeing if my readers agree, but also because I'm really, really, really looking forwards to the next in the series ... Elemental Conflict.

Is there a link? Why, yes, perhaps .... and now you're all going to have to be nice and let me get Elemental Affinity into the best shape I possibly can for you. I hope you'll think it's worth the wait once it's in your hands.

The Author's Desk

First seen on the Space Trash Blog.

The centre of the madness, the eye of the storm ... where the Cortii series is written, edited, and not infrequently sworn about.

Almost out of shot to the right, there is a cat shelf. It's a cat shelf because we are what we most frequently do (~Aristotle), and what that shelf most frequently does is serve as a depository for furry, mobile writer's blocks. While their preferred spot is, of course, front and centre between me and the screen (and preferably on the keyboard), the shelf is an acceptable staging point for a rather miffed wash before staging another assault on the walls of my concentration.

Other important aspects are the skull, used for conjuring lost files (yes, it's a USB hub), the speakers, and not least, the remote-controlled flying fuck helicopter (because I can give one occasionally, but frequently need to provide photographic evidence).

Along the top shelf are the ring binders holding old manuscripts (otherwise known as editing inspiration - I look at these relics and immediately feel better about my current writing), and my rear-view mirror, currently completely useless because no one can sneak up behind me unless they can walk through walls. However, it's a great idea and I like it, which is why it's there.

Aside from the computer itself, the huge, sound-deadening headphones are a vital component of writing or editing. With those on and the metal playing, the only things that can distract me is a strategically-applied claw to my rear or the inevitable passage of tea through my system.

Because 3-D cameras are a cool idea but I don't have one, I've included the view facing in exactly the opposite direction. This is the display of other assorted detritus that I like to play with and think about when I'm procrastinating, which includes a wakizashi, shells from the Caribbean, a Japanese teapot (when not in use), proof copies of Through the Hostage and Fighting Shadows, a lot of sealing wax, and my Australian hat. Oh, and a bunch of assorted books on writing, WordPress, meditation, etc. that I like to have handy but that don't really fit in the library downstairs (because we've got somewhere between 1,000 and 2,000 books down there already and we need to buy a new shelf. Or three.)

I'm considering adding a warning sign on the door for when I'm working. Feel free to send suggestions.